Week one down

WOo HOO! One week down < Insert party horns here>

Honestly if the next 51 weeks go this quick he will be home before we know it.

I guess chasing THE most energetic toddler I have ever met, paired with the 6 month old's eating/napping/playing routine  really doesn't allow for any time to over think things. Or really time to think of ANYTHING for that matter besides cars-trucks-trains-Apaacchess-elmo-pooh-superhoes-letters-numbers-shapes-Dr.Suess- you get the picture.

We have a list a mile long of projects to start/finish, books to read, learning activities to explore, so on and so forth to take on when boredom hits but that list seems to be growing rapidly without any trimming. Which is fine, really.

We did have ONE mini meltdown last sunday when Mr. Pants was in Sunday school. The sweet teacher explained to me that they were just saying that God created Mommies and Daddies and immediately he began sobbing DADDY-MOMMY for the rest of the hour. sigh. Broke my heart as tears also poured out of my eyes and I tried to explain to her that his Daddy was officially gone for 12 months .

The rest of the week was filled with a trip to the children's museum, library visits, swimming at Grandma's, getting and assembling a big boy TWIN bed  with the coolest secret hideout underneath, and even a trip to the doctor complete with shots for BOTH boys which we conquered quite well if I may say so.

Checking out my new bed with Daddy

Secret hideout

HAPPIEST baby

I have been filling my nights -post 7 pm bedtime- quite peacefully. Any time I get is spent either logging in my weekly runs on the treadmill, reading book #2 of 50 shades, watching episodes of Big Love which I am newly addicted to,  or less joyfully tackling all of the household chores that used to take 2 to complete. Emptying the diaper genie ALONE is enough for me to praise my husband for all that he normally does around here. Sick. Taking out that huge sack of S*** is seriously disgusting.

The good news is that it is officially FOOTBALL SEASON! Alleluia . Maybe it has to do with being raised in a sports obsessed house, but nothing is more comforting than hearing football commentators on TV. Watching games solo will take some getting used to though.  Sundays are always spent in our PJs/jerseys cheering on the Steelers or whoever is playing the Patriots. Last year we spent just about EVERY Saturday eating pulled pork learning the traditions of the Crimson Tide from our die-hard alumni neighbors. I hate to love that houndstooth.


 Tomorrow morning I step out for a 15 mile run . One mile closer . One mile stronger. One mile more than I ever thought possible.

I miss my husband. I miss him a lot. I miss arguing with him about anything and everything. I miss the way he checks on the boys every night before he goes to sleep. I miss how life is so much more unpredictable with him here.  I miss the laughter that spews through the house when he is around. We are so very lucky to be able to FaceTime with him and chat regularly right now, something that will not always be the case. I just keep reminding myself that I am INCREDIBLY lucky be married to such an amazing man , lucky that I have someone to miss.

Happy weekend friends! Enjoy your 3 day,  please kiss and hug your loved ones just because you can.

2 down, 363 to go!

Well here I sit, finally getting to the point of keeping this blog in the first place.

2 days into OUR first deployment.

Leaving this stressful and inconsistent summer behind us is leaving my mind at peace. It sounds crazy but 3 months of never knowing when your husband is going to be home, not being able to make plans, spending only a handful of days as a family, and throwing off two babies schedules constantly was exhausting to say the least. Honestly, keeping up with my marathon training was all that kept my head on straight.

We kicked off the past week with a great yellow ribbon send-off event down in Marana. Local organizations set up booths, Deployment survival kits for the kids, there were Apaches set up for display, a great lunch was provided, and some nice speeches were given honoring our soldiers heading out.  A bunch of our family was able to make it down which made it that much more special. I must say that Mr. Pants had QUITE the second birthday, playing on Apaches all day, enjoying his first Eegee icee, and making a few different news stories will be a difficult one to top.

Mr. Pants in a news article!
We were on the 10pm news!

Everyone that made it out!

My Papa, retired USAF Pilot COL Olson, Grandma, and us

All 3 Stevensons

Our family

WHO can point out the two goofy patriot fans ?? 

After a few more days of classes and preparation, we were THRILLED to have two days together before saying our goodbyes on Friday.

There really are no words for seeing your husband kiss and hug his sons goodbye. We are just lucky they are so young. Mr. Kaners has no idea what is going on, but Pants takes it pretty rough. I feel fortunate that we have had such an adjustment time this summer .The long sobs of  "DADDY?? DADDDY HOME?" have become less frequent and easier to redirect. He understands that Daddy is at work, but the duration of this time around is something that he will just have take day by day. The resiliency that our energetic big-hearted toddler is learning every day really amazes me.  At the ripe age of 2 he really is the man of the house when Daddy is away.

So after a relaxing night alone at Starr Pass in Tucson ( our first night without kids ALONE together in 2 years... thanks Mom!)

we headed out to the airfield in Marana one more time. 

It is a feeling that is impossible to explain, even though I wish that I could. You know it is going to be tough, you know that tears are inevitable, but at the same time you are incredibly proud of what your soldier is about to do over the next year.  You know that you will survive and that things could be much worse than this. This is what your loved one has trained and worked for , and here they are about to go do it.

Most of the guys/girl took off on a commercial jet to Ft. Hood texas to finish up training. But someone had to take the final 4 aircraft . SW was one of the 8 making the cross country trip, mainly to gain more experience since he has the fewest flight hours in the company. HOW cool is that?

After an early wakeup with no time for coffee, I stood back and soaked up what has become normal routine for my husband over the past 2 years. Flight briefing, Pre-flight, and checking that everything is ready for take-off. Once they were good to go we took a minute to say goodbye to each other, taking in that last bit of scent and warmth that will be unfamiliar in the near future.

The rest was pretty surreal to be honest. For the first time I watched my husband start up his Apache, the rotors begin to spin and instantly I am being blown over by rotor wash. The four aircraft , well organized of course, slowly make their way to the end of the runways. One by one they each begin to reach a hover and take off into the air. They make a loop around the airfield, the same airfield they have been training at, the same location where SW Began his Army Aviation career as a controller years ago.

Within minutes they were heading off towards the gorgeous Tucson Sunrise making their way east .

I should be sad, I should be devastated, at least that is what this moment is always made out to be. But instead I find myself extremely proud and awe struck by what I just witnessed. My Husband, the Father of my sons, my best friend , just set off to do what he has always dreamed of.  It is not just his love for the AH-64 but his love for his country that pushes him to such heights. And Now I am off to hold down our fort and keep our family going strong while he is away... right after I jam out to his favorite song  that ironically plays as I hop into his Charger for the two hour drive home. " It's JUST SO CATCHY"

I keep telling myself how fortunate we are. My husband has a job that most little boys dream about, he is a pilot on the most BA helicopter out there. Our paychecks are enough that , with sacrifices, I am able to stay home to raise our two perfect little men; but also small enough to keep us very grounded.  Our kids are extremely happy and healthy. We have each other. I have two legs that allow me to run great distances which I never knew possible. We have plenty of food to eat, a roof over our heads, two cars in our driveway, bills that are paid, two ridiculously annoying dogs that we can't seem to part with, family that offers us help more than we deserve, clothes on our backs, 2 iPads, 2 iphones,  a beautiful camera, etc. etc. We have a GREAT life, better than most. Not to say that we haven't worked our butts off to get here, but we ARE here now .  We have people in our life that are sick with cancer, going through divorce/separation, not able to have children, grieving a lost loved one, can't find jobs, suffer from dangerous addictions, the list goes on.

What I am getting at is that if being away from my husband for 365 days is the only problem I have, then it really isn't a problem. There will be tough days and easy days. There will be times when I may not be as strong as I feel today. But today is day 2 and for the next 363 more days we will take it ONE day at a time.

Two worlds

In a world drowning in material... A world obsessed with overdone weddings, designer labels, fancy cars, high paying careers, reality TV, expensive cocktails, glorious vacations...

A world where the opulence of your home values your worth,  a world where people live day to day never taking a second to think bigger than themselves, where people believe that their lifestyle is all that exists...

there is also a world of war.

A world where friends come together as family,  paychecks are small but hearts are big, recipes are shared, get togethers are carefree because life is not, prayers are constant, unexpected is expected, children are loved, friendships are instant, neighbors always have a cup of sugar( or dog food)

... a world where weddings are quick,  marriages are strong, and babies are celebrated.

...a world where loved ones are left behind to hold down the fort, heroes are real and they fight for our freedom, families struggle but are strengthened by faith...

 a world where men and women raise their right hand giving their ALL to their country, and all too often the sacrifice really is THEIR all.

Try to walk a little in someone else's' shoes, everyone is fighting their own battle. When you dig deep, you will see that both worlds are filled with happiness and hurt, love and loneliness. Help others when you can, appreciate the opportunities you are given, and never take anything for granted.

Happy 6 months Kaners!

What an amazing, sweet, easy, loving, beautiful baby boy you are Kane! Today you are 6 months and I couldn't be more proud to be your Mama.

Since the day you were born, you have had the most calming and peaceful energy. It is something that can not be described only felt.

It has been a busy 6 months juggling you and your energetic brother, Daddy finishing up flight school, driving across the country, and now living in Arizona. You have been the BEST baby through all of this, we couldn't have asked for more.

Your eyes are still blue! We keep waiting for them to change but it seems like they may just be here to stay. You must get them from Papa.  At your last doctors appointment you were 28 inches long ( HOLY COW!) and about 18 lbs, and I have already broken into the 12 months clothes for you... YOU ARE SO BIG! 

Thanks to lots of time playing with your brother and spending time with family, you are hitting milestones right when you should. You can now roll over both ways, make " razzing" sounds, squeal in delight ( which you do VERY often) sit up by yourself when you feel like it, and you are starting to eat solid food. When you are in your Jumperoo you could bounce for hours if I let you, what strong legs you have Mr. Kaners. 

You are SO good that I never even know when you are awake in the morning. I go to check on you at 8 when brother gets up, and there you are with a huge smile across your face just rolling around happy as can be. Are you EVER unhappy?  I'm not sure if that is possible. Besides when you are hungry, but that is pretty common with Trumbull boys it seems.

You take baths in the big boy tub now, sometimes even with your brother which is pretty funny. He just wants to poke you and play with you so we have to be REALLY carefull .

Even though you have only been in our world 6 months, we can tell exactly what kind of man you are going to be. You are going to grow up to be the most amazing person with your kind heart and ridiculously handsome good looks.

Your favorite toys are the turtle that attaches to your carseat, some toy keys, and really anything your brother will share with you. The only blanket you love is one that our friend from Ft. Rucker Jenna made you. You snuggle with it, chew on it, and it is your absolute favorite!

The only thing you haven't liked so far is baby food. I tried making you homemade baby food and you hated it, tried Gerber jars and you spit it everywhere. We will keep trying a little each day and I am sure that you will be chowing down in no time!

This morning I took some pictures of you, so we can always look back and remember you at 6 months old...

Thank you Kane for being not only an amazing baby but a true blessing in our lives. We all love you VERY much and love seeing that precious smile every single day.

Refrigerator Calendar

As anyone who has been to my home knows , I am obsessive about my refrigerator calendar. When I paused my short lived career teaching, moved with my husband to pursue his dreams in aviation, drove from Southern Arizona to Southern Alabama, and was about to have our first kid... things began to all blur together. I was very used to my life being planned in my head or in my lesson plan book, no one else depended on me. Even though we had been married for a year at this point, we had our own careers and lives really besides every few weekends not taken up by drill ( 1 weekend a month Army National Guard Duty.)

I remember the day I bought this calendar very clear, as silly as it is. Shortly after arriving in Alabama Steve left for 6 weeks at WOC school meaning no communication, I was 7 months pregnant, and living happily just me and the beagles. Free time was something I had NEVER in my life had so I really enjoyed the freedom of that summer. Just me, my belly, and my beagles in the beautiful south enjoying life. ANYWAYS... enough of the daydreaming of peacefulness.. There I was moseying around Ft. Rucker when I realized I needed to begin keeping track of what events where coming up correlating with Warrant Officer graduation. Wandering through the PX I found a great dry erase calendar that I could fill in monthly to keep track of what is ahead. PERFECT!

The first month filled out was August 2010, a month filled with receptions, graduation, family visits, beach trips, and of course the due date of our first little guy. I remember looking at it filled in thinking HOLY COW how is it possible that so many life changing events could happen in one month? JUST ONE month in our lives.

Quickly it became a great tool for keeping track of the ever so busy days of flight school. Steve could put in his training information, I could put in what days I was running what distances, doctors appointments were documented, get togethers with our new " Rucker Family", day trips , and so much more. I learned to live life one month at a time. Many experienced military members will tell you to live life day to day which is helpful when things can literally change each day, but for an over planner like myself month-to-month is as good as it gets.

Fast forward to August 2012, the month ahead. The Calendar is no longer on our outdated white top/bottom refrigerator but has a new home on a more sleek black side by side version in Arizona. With the move and the end of flight school, the events have most definitely changed. Many more sad faces, more mileage for myself to keep my mind occupied, more time away, and less events together as a family of 4. Filling in this month was something I have been mentally preparing for for years, but last night it became all too real.

The Army  has my husband for the first 17 days of next month . The following two days after that will be filled with our sons' 2nd birthday party, send off party, little brother starting school at ASU, Family in town, and a yellow ribbon send off as we all say goodbye to our soldiers. One day that following week we say goodbye, who knows which day since it IS the Army after all right?  Besides all of this, our perfect angel baby becomes 6 months. 6 MONTHS??? In my head he will always be a newborn, 6 months means he is halfway to a year... that can not be right. The last week of the month will be my furthest distance ever ran as I continue my marathon training. 13.1 miles is my sweet spot, it is achievable yet exhilarating all at the same time. Going beyond that finally seems in reach, but this month I am FINALLY going to do it. un-belieaveable.

All of this realization makes for yet another eventful August. Are we ready for it? Probably not. Will we make it through? of course.

As much as I want to look beyond to September and make some awesome plans for the boys and I , I think I will hold steady in August. I have no idea what life is going to be like for the next 12 months, but I know that even writing this leaves my heart aching.

I know we sign up for this. When we started dating for the second time (we'll save that story for another post ) I knew what we had in store. We probably should have faced multiple deployments being 6.5 years into his Army career, but we haven't. That is not how life has played out. Could it have been easier if he had left as a controller instead? Maybe if I was just his girlfriend? Or maybe if he had left two years ago where I could have simply wrapped myself up into my classroom and pummeled through? Who knows. But I do know that where we are now, Steve flying and myself staying behind raising our two amazing boys, is right where we are supposed to be. I am left with two remarkable pieces of him to keep me company while he gets to fly the most advanced helicopter everyday and " fight the bad guys." God has his cards laid out for us. We really aren't given anything we can not handle, and THIS we can handle.

Not sure how a few words about a calendar could end up into a novel such as this, but I guess you leave me to " talking" and this is what you will get. If you've stuck through this and are still reading THANK YOU FOR LISTENING... seriously today I think I need it.

Here is to August, a month that is bound to be full of laughter, tears, miles, and fears. Ready to live through each day on that Calendar, and soak up every day that we are given!

Have a great Monday friends!

Business in the front, party in the back

and no I am not talking about my husband's hairstyle that he rocked throughout his childhood.

Pretty excited about what our creativity drew us to yesterday, time to share!

One class that I really treasure and loved in college was play education. It sounds silly and my peers always teased us when we would be making toys from household objects and getting graded on them. But as a full time Mama, I now can really appreciate the idea that toys are normally better made than bought.

So I have been trying to figure out a great visual and hands on tool that will help with teaching the basics to our soon to be 2 year old (sigh.. is he really almost 2?) I wanted to combine letters, numbers, shapes, and colors SOMEHOW in one item. We started with a large piece of wood I had leftover from another project, 5 sheets of adhesive vinyl in the colors of the rainbow ( I selfishly left out violet for my own projects) , and my hand dandy cricut .

I made a quick plan organizing an even amount of letters, numbers, and shapes. Put the vinyl on the cricut and got to work, well Mr. Man thought HE was doing the work ..." cricut SO easy a toddler can do it" 

Once the piece were all cut out, we went outside and sanded the board to prevent any splinters. This was the best investment for the types of crafts I love to do. The Black and decker mouse sander, affordable at about 30$ and gets the job done. 

After sanding it I realized that I have a complete empty piece of wood on the back. Remembering some neat pinterest pins I thought what a great ramp for hot wheels off of the couch. THEN I realized I had some black spray paint in the garage, why not paint it black and add some scrap yellow vinyl to make it a road? EASY PEAZY

So Mr. played outside while I taped off and painted the board. Took some scrap vinyl and cut little lines out for the road center. Not perfect, but it IS a kids toy after all right?

Once dry I let him give it a go. Without a word he ran into his room, came out with a shirt full of cars and got to work. It's amazing how little boys' brains work... cars , trains, and helicopters ( at least in our house.) Looking at this I realized the paint job looks more like radiator springs BEFORE lightning Mcqueen repaved it, but whatever boys don't care. 

This is a terrible picture of the finished project. But you get the idea, right? Letters-numbers-shapes-colors ALL IN ONE! We were playing games like put the lego on A and he would have to find the right letter. He is only 1, I have to remind myself, but this is a great learning tool on one side and toy on the other. Best of both worlds! Now we just need to drill a couple holes so that I can hang it on his wall for a combo of decoration and storage for such a LARGE heavy piece of wood. This could easily be made thinner wood too, would probably be easier to work with. It would also look nice stained or painted, but like I said the glory about boys is NOTHING MATTERS BESIDES cars , trains, and helicopters. And their Dad. 

This was so easy we finished it in the time that the 5 month old was napping. 

EASY  as cake and made to last. 

THANKS FOR Checking out our latest project! I will Add a picture of it hanging as soon as I get it up. 

Hope this inspires some homemade toys around your house :) 

HAVE A GREAT DAY! 

OK here it is hanging in the "playroom" part of his room . Love that it is perfect toddler height ! 

Third time's a charm

Well... third time is a charm right? I tried the fitness blog, fun but not enough material.

Tried the family blog, too boring and impersonal as well as being too scatterbrained to keep track.

So here goes. Round 3. All encompassing - life through my eyes- raw written- verbal vomit.

Big events are approaching in my life but it seems like that has been my tagline for a good 26 years though come to think of it. But really, honestly, having two babies and the love of my life about to leave us for a year is going to leave a lot of room for change.

When given alone time we can develop in two ways. The first is to fall into a slump. This would be an all too easy way to go, simply live day to day with hopes of survival. The second, a more difficult option, is to set up a plan to grow upward each and every day. My plan ( which is my only means of functioning)  is to make the most of this next year and focus on growing two amazing little boys while continuing to evolve into the best form of myself.

I am not going to sit here and drag on and on about who I am or what I believe in, the time will come as will the words...

 ...HOWEVER I must say I love this shirt. It sums me up. I love to run, not only long distances but run my household too.

We live a pretty exciting life. Between day trips, homemade crafts, new successful recipes, health and fitness, learning through literature, and of course the everyday roller coaster the Army throws at us... it is bound to be nothing short of exhilarating.

I am not promising that I will continue blogging past this coming year, I hope to, but I make no promises. I love to write, love to take photos, and love my family more than humanly possible.

Writing is a form of therapy for me which doesn't mean that I am even decent at it. Maybe some topics of discussion can help others who may feel alone, maybe I can bring awareness about different subjects, maybe some neat crafts we make can spark others' creativity as well, and maybe I will just continue to talk to a virtual wall and THAT is totally fine...I think by now I am used to that.



Thanks for stopping by, have a great day, and come back soon :)