Week one down

WOo HOO! One week down < Insert party horns here>

Honestly if the next 51 weeks go this quick he will be home before we know it.

I guess chasing THE most energetic toddler I have ever met, paired with the 6 month old's eating/napping/playing routine  really doesn't allow for any time to over think things. Or really time to think of ANYTHING for that matter besides cars-trucks-trains-Apaacchess-elmo-pooh-superhoes-letters-numbers-shapes-Dr.Suess- you get the picture.

We have a list a mile long of projects to start/finish, books to read, learning activities to explore, so on and so forth to take on when boredom hits but that list seems to be growing rapidly without any trimming. Which is fine, really.

We did have ONE mini meltdown last sunday when Mr. Pants was in Sunday school. The sweet teacher explained to me that they were just saying that God created Mommies and Daddies and immediately he began sobbing DADDY-MOMMY for the rest of the hour. sigh. Broke my heart as tears also poured out of my eyes and I tried to explain to her that his Daddy was officially gone for 12 months .

The rest of the week was filled with a trip to the children's museum, library visits, swimming at Grandma's, getting and assembling a big boy TWIN bed  with the coolest secret hideout underneath, and even a trip to the doctor complete with shots for BOTH boys which we conquered quite well if I may say so.

Checking out my new bed with Daddy

Secret hideout

HAPPIEST baby

I have been filling my nights -post 7 pm bedtime- quite peacefully. Any time I get is spent either logging in my weekly runs on the treadmill, reading book #2 of 50 shades, watching episodes of Big Love which I am newly addicted to,  or less joyfully tackling all of the household chores that used to take 2 to complete. Emptying the diaper genie ALONE is enough for me to praise my husband for all that he normally does around here. Sick. Taking out that huge sack of S*** is seriously disgusting.

The good news is that it is officially FOOTBALL SEASON! Alleluia . Maybe it has to do with being raised in a sports obsessed house, but nothing is more comforting than hearing football commentators on TV. Watching games solo will take some getting used to though.  Sundays are always spent in our PJs/jerseys cheering on the Steelers or whoever is playing the Patriots. Last year we spent just about EVERY Saturday eating pulled pork learning the traditions of the Crimson Tide from our die-hard alumni neighbors. I hate to love that houndstooth.


 Tomorrow morning I step out for a 15 mile run . One mile closer . One mile stronger. One mile more than I ever thought possible.

I miss my husband. I miss him a lot. I miss arguing with him about anything and everything. I miss the way he checks on the boys every night before he goes to sleep. I miss how life is so much more unpredictable with him here.  I miss the laughter that spews through the house when he is around. We are so very lucky to be able to FaceTime with him and chat regularly right now, something that will not always be the case. I just keep reminding myself that I am INCREDIBLY lucky be married to such an amazing man , lucky that I have someone to miss.

Happy weekend friends! Enjoy your 3 day,  please kiss and hug your loved ones just because you can.

2 down, 363 to go!

Well here I sit, finally getting to the point of keeping this blog in the first place.

2 days into OUR first deployment.

Leaving this stressful and inconsistent summer behind us is leaving my mind at peace. It sounds crazy but 3 months of never knowing when your husband is going to be home, not being able to make plans, spending only a handful of days as a family, and throwing off two babies schedules constantly was exhausting to say the least. Honestly, keeping up with my marathon training was all that kept my head on straight.

We kicked off the past week with a great yellow ribbon send-off event down in Marana. Local organizations set up booths, Deployment survival kits for the kids, there were Apaches set up for display, a great lunch was provided, and some nice speeches were given honoring our soldiers heading out.  A bunch of our family was able to make it down which made it that much more special. I must say that Mr. Pants had QUITE the second birthday, playing on Apaches all day, enjoying his first Eegee icee, and making a few different news stories will be a difficult one to top.

Mr. Pants in a news article!
We were on the 10pm news!

Everyone that made it out!

My Papa, retired USAF Pilot COL Olson, Grandma, and us

All 3 Stevensons

Our family

WHO can point out the two goofy patriot fans ?? 

After a few more days of classes and preparation, we were THRILLED to have two days together before saying our goodbyes on Friday.

There really are no words for seeing your husband kiss and hug his sons goodbye. We are just lucky they are so young. Mr. Kaners has no idea what is going on, but Pants takes it pretty rough. I feel fortunate that we have had such an adjustment time this summer .The long sobs of  "DADDY?? DADDDY HOME?" have become less frequent and easier to redirect. He understands that Daddy is at work, but the duration of this time around is something that he will just have take day by day. The resiliency that our energetic big-hearted toddler is learning every day really amazes me.  At the ripe age of 2 he really is the man of the house when Daddy is away.

So after a relaxing night alone at Starr Pass in Tucson ( our first night without kids ALONE together in 2 years... thanks Mom!)

we headed out to the airfield in Marana one more time. 

It is a feeling that is impossible to explain, even though I wish that I could. You know it is going to be tough, you know that tears are inevitable, but at the same time you are incredibly proud of what your soldier is about to do over the next year.  You know that you will survive and that things could be much worse than this. This is what your loved one has trained and worked for , and here they are about to go do it.

Most of the guys/girl took off on a commercial jet to Ft. Hood texas to finish up training. But someone had to take the final 4 aircraft . SW was one of the 8 making the cross country trip, mainly to gain more experience since he has the fewest flight hours in the company. HOW cool is that?

After an early wakeup with no time for coffee, I stood back and soaked up what has become normal routine for my husband over the past 2 years. Flight briefing, Pre-flight, and checking that everything is ready for take-off. Once they were good to go we took a minute to say goodbye to each other, taking in that last bit of scent and warmth that will be unfamiliar in the near future.

The rest was pretty surreal to be honest. For the first time I watched my husband start up his Apache, the rotors begin to spin and instantly I am being blown over by rotor wash. The four aircraft , well organized of course, slowly make their way to the end of the runways. One by one they each begin to reach a hover and take off into the air. They make a loop around the airfield, the same airfield they have been training at, the same location where SW Began his Army Aviation career as a controller years ago.

Within minutes they were heading off towards the gorgeous Tucson Sunrise making their way east .

I should be sad, I should be devastated, at least that is what this moment is always made out to be. But instead I find myself extremely proud and awe struck by what I just witnessed. My Husband, the Father of my sons, my best friend , just set off to do what he has always dreamed of.  It is not just his love for the AH-64 but his love for his country that pushes him to such heights. And Now I am off to hold down our fort and keep our family going strong while he is away... right after I jam out to his favorite song  that ironically plays as I hop into his Charger for the two hour drive home. " It's JUST SO CATCHY"

I keep telling myself how fortunate we are. My husband has a job that most little boys dream about, he is a pilot on the most BA helicopter out there. Our paychecks are enough that , with sacrifices, I am able to stay home to raise our two perfect little men; but also small enough to keep us very grounded.  Our kids are extremely happy and healthy. We have each other. I have two legs that allow me to run great distances which I never knew possible. We have plenty of food to eat, a roof over our heads, two cars in our driveway, bills that are paid, two ridiculously annoying dogs that we can't seem to part with, family that offers us help more than we deserve, clothes on our backs, 2 iPads, 2 iphones,  a beautiful camera, etc. etc. We have a GREAT life, better than most. Not to say that we haven't worked our butts off to get here, but we ARE here now .  We have people in our life that are sick with cancer, going through divorce/separation, not able to have children, grieving a lost loved one, can't find jobs, suffer from dangerous addictions, the list goes on.

What I am getting at is that if being away from my husband for 365 days is the only problem I have, then it really isn't a problem. There will be tough days and easy days. There will be times when I may not be as strong as I feel today. But today is day 2 and for the next 363 more days we will take it ONE day at a time.

Two worlds

In a world drowning in material... A world obsessed with overdone weddings, designer labels, fancy cars, high paying careers, reality TV, expensive cocktails, glorious vacations...

A world where the opulence of your home values your worth,  a world where people live day to day never taking a second to think bigger than themselves, where people believe that their lifestyle is all that exists...

there is also a world of war.

A world where friends come together as family,  paychecks are small but hearts are big, recipes are shared, get togethers are carefree because life is not, prayers are constant, unexpected is expected, children are loved, friendships are instant, neighbors always have a cup of sugar( or dog food)

... a world where weddings are quick,  marriages are strong, and babies are celebrated.

...a world where loved ones are left behind to hold down the fort, heroes are real and they fight for our freedom, families struggle but are strengthened by faith...

 a world where men and women raise their right hand giving their ALL to their country, and all too often the sacrifice really is THEIR all.

Try to walk a little in someone else's' shoes, everyone is fighting their own battle. When you dig deep, you will see that both worlds are filled with happiness and hurt, love and loneliness. Help others when you can, appreciate the opportunities you are given, and never take anything for granted.

Happy 6 months Kaners!

What an amazing, sweet, easy, loving, beautiful baby boy you are Kane! Today you are 6 months and I couldn't be more proud to be your Mama.

Since the day you were born, you have had the most calming and peaceful energy. It is something that can not be described only felt.

It has been a busy 6 months juggling you and your energetic brother, Daddy finishing up flight school, driving across the country, and now living in Arizona. You have been the BEST baby through all of this, we couldn't have asked for more.

Your eyes are still blue! We keep waiting for them to change but it seems like they may just be here to stay. You must get them from Papa.  At your last doctors appointment you were 28 inches long ( HOLY COW!) and about 18 lbs, and I have already broken into the 12 months clothes for you... YOU ARE SO BIG! 

Thanks to lots of time playing with your brother and spending time with family, you are hitting milestones right when you should. You can now roll over both ways, make " razzing" sounds, squeal in delight ( which you do VERY often) sit up by yourself when you feel like it, and you are starting to eat solid food. When you are in your Jumperoo you could bounce for hours if I let you, what strong legs you have Mr. Kaners. 

You are SO good that I never even know when you are awake in the morning. I go to check on you at 8 when brother gets up, and there you are with a huge smile across your face just rolling around happy as can be. Are you EVER unhappy?  I'm not sure if that is possible. Besides when you are hungry, but that is pretty common with Trumbull boys it seems.

You take baths in the big boy tub now, sometimes even with your brother which is pretty funny. He just wants to poke you and play with you so we have to be REALLY carefull .

Even though you have only been in our world 6 months, we can tell exactly what kind of man you are going to be. You are going to grow up to be the most amazing person with your kind heart and ridiculously handsome good looks.

Your favorite toys are the turtle that attaches to your carseat, some toy keys, and really anything your brother will share with you. The only blanket you love is one that our friend from Ft. Rucker Jenna made you. You snuggle with it, chew on it, and it is your absolute favorite!

The only thing you haven't liked so far is baby food. I tried making you homemade baby food and you hated it, tried Gerber jars and you spit it everywhere. We will keep trying a little each day and I am sure that you will be chowing down in no time!

This morning I took some pictures of you, so we can always look back and remember you at 6 months old...

Thank you Kane for being not only an amazing baby but a true blessing in our lives. We all love you VERY much and love seeing that precious smile every single day.