Weeks 22-23

The saying " things have to get worse before they get better" pretty much sums up the past two weeks.

Looking back, I can honestly say that the past month has been one of the most TRYING and exhausting times I've ever been faced with. A lovely combination of terrible twos/ separation anxiety/ missing Daddy/ sleep deprivation/etc. etc. came kicking and screaming into our home completely overstaying it's welcome. We are talking consecutive nights with only 2-5 hours of sleep followed by refusal of naps- and the sleep that did happen was sandwiched tightly between the most out of control tantrums I've ever experienced. I wish I could pinpoint what has helped get us through this phase- but it really has just been consistency and roping in every resource possible. In the end, I can see what God's purpose was in all of this- showing me that I can NOT do this alone. That as strong willed and independent as I may be... deployment is a tough journey for all of us. To get my son, and myself, over this steep hill I had to seek advice and support from places I normally wouldn't. So thank you to the handful of friends on my midnight text support list... everyone that was there to offer advice... and most importantly to simply listen. I now... on a consistent 5 (YES 5!!!) nights of sleep I can say that we are strong enough to conquer anything. Ready for what the second half of this journey has for us.

Last week our sweet little Mr. Kane turned 1 year old!  He is such a funny little guy. As happy and full of joy as he has been the past 12 months, he is finally starting to get a little attitude in him. His mean face is hilarious, which apparently he gets from me according to my husband. He has discovered a love for blueberries and Almond milk- his first food obsessions . He is all over everything, impossible to keep up with. Not quite walking yet, actually not even close to walking which is COMPLETELY fine in my book. Considering his brother didn't walk until 16 months and went straight to sprinting... being a late walker may just be a blessing! He's just as lovable and snuggly as ever and the fact that he is growing up makes me really sad- he will always be Baby Kane  to us ;) 

Steven Started preschool last week! He has done amazing with it, better than I had thought. The school is wonderful and right down the street. You can already tell how much maturing he has gone through in just two weeks . His class is 2.5- 3 year olds so he is the youngest which is great for him! The class is 10 boys 1 girl- his teacher is a SAINT. He is FINALLY seeing a GI doctor Monday to get his digestion issues figured out. With his sleep improvements this week, his overall mood has been wonderful. We are finally able to enjoy our days together like we used to. 

Things finally are looking up around here. I received an email with the dates of the re-integration workshops to prepare for them coming home! Even though it is 4 months away, it makes it seem so real. He really will be home before we know it. 

Here are a few photos from the past  two weeks...  

Was so happy to make it to my good friend, and Gamma Phi Mama's, Baby shower! She is seriously the cutest. Can't believe she is literally about to pop and still so tiny. 

Steven's first day at preschool

We had a fun morning playing at the Zoo last week !

Getting so big- first time riding in one of these huge carts.

Daddy at work :) 

Really impressed with my first Gluten Free sliced bread. Steven is finally able to enjoy his favorite lunch again- grilled cheese! 

Playing at the park. WATCH OUT Steven is coming through... like always 

Mr. Kane's favorite thing to do... sleep sleep sleep

Beautiful PURPLE Valentines day flowers- love him. 

Going through Steven's first Valentines from his school party. 

Showing Dad my new truck

Hmm. How can I get the rest of this oatmeal???

We are LOVING this beautiful weather in Arizona , spring here makes me ALMOST want to live here longer. I mean not really, but almost. We are enjoying being able to walk to the park most days, going on long runs together, and just spending time outdoors while we can. 

I can't believe we have made it this far!  It's all downhill from here. 

Midway speed bumps

We are officially ALMOST halfway through our first 12 month deployment ! A little over 6 months to go. That was mentioned to me earlier this week and tears of joy completely flooded my exhausted eyes... Only 6 more months. This too shall pass.

It's been another trying 2 weeks to say the least. It seems like every time I think things are getting better, another road block is thrown our way.

Good news is that Steven's Celiac testing came back negative, bad news is that in a 2 year old it doesn't mean much. So now to the GI doctor as soon as our referral comes in. Part of me wants to rant and rage < no, I don't mean rave > about the faulty insurance/ healthcare / behavioral health or LACK there of that we have been facing ... But today I'm trying to stay positive which is a HUGE step compared to my attitude lately.

Sleep is still an issue for our Daddy loving toddler. Even bigger than before. It is nice to have a child psych as a sister, because she was able to give me some tips yesterday for what is clearly separation anxiety that this little guy is struggling with ... having his beloved other half so far away from him. Last night I feel like we finally broke some ground and hopefully are finding some solutions and SLEEP for all of us.

I honestly don't know how I'd be going through all of this without such great friends and family .Everyone that has been around the past couple weeks has witnessed the fine line I walk from complete breakdowns each day. I wish it was because my husband was gone because those types of emotions are controllable- but when it's your CHILD that is facing emotional and physical problems and you're doing it all alone 24/7 it's really easy to get worn to the ground. So thank you everyone that has given me a place to vent and shoulders to cry on. Literally.

There were definitely some sunny days that got us through. From setting a new half marathon personal record to Celebrating baby Kane's first birthday , a night out with good friends to my Husband turning 27 ( love when he's older than me ) , and of course an absolute blast at the rain filled COLOR RUN.

And now it's February !!! Our sweet baby boy turns a whole year old next week and our big boy is starting preschool now that he's finally 2.5 . We went today to check out the school and he absolutely loved it.

Here is a look at weeks 22-23!

PF changs Rock N roll Half Marathon- I set a new personal best of 1:44! I honestly thought that time wasn't possible...

Got to have a girls night to celebrate my Sissy's Birthday! 

Had to get some one year old shots of Mr. Kane! I love how they turned out, they capture his pure joy and sweetness perfectly . 

OH NO It's TACKLE TIME! 

Hey Steven, what are you doing?? " RUNNIN.. RUNNIN. It's his favorite thing to do.. don't know where he got that from ;)

Excuse the phone quality, between the rain and color bombs my phone was a little High. Maybe Drunk. Maybe both not sure...

Apparently if you're a baby you get to stay dry and semi-clean ;)

Puddle jumping

Steven the Smurf

Love us some Trumbull/Johnson time ;)

My little smurfs and I

 This kid ADORES his uncle Bob

Even in the rain, we had some fun celebrating Kane's first birthday Dr. Suess style. 

Green eggs and ham of course

They have the FUNNIEST Grandparents :)

Singing Happy Birthday!

Loving his first cupcake AND red frosting from the cake 

Saying Goodbye to Nanny and Pepaw Bill was not their favorite. 

Daddy with some Italian pilots and their little Attack helicopter 

So two weeks down in the record books. Hoping that this new month brings some sanity, sleep, and much needed sunshine- Figuratively... not literally... we are living in PHOENIX afterall.

Happy February Friends!