Weeks16-17

I like that number, 17. It looks so close to 20. And 20 seems so close to half of 52, which is halfway through the deployment . It's a stretch I know, but I'm trying.

To say it's been a rough 2 weeks is putting it lightly. The combination of two year old drama mixed with Daddy being gone drama has turned this house into quite the tornado lately. Sleeping has been a huge issue that is finally starting to return back to normal. It's as if we have been fighting a 3 week hang over from that one week of party time that he was home. But we are making it through, slowly but surely, we are making it through.

Not much to report lately. Besides the daily sleep battles and busy Christmas-ness, we've been trying to keep things as calm as possible around here.

Highlights of the last two weeks-
- A santa breakfast with the family
- BEAUTIFUL weather for afternoon runs with the boys
- Talking to Daddy daily
-Lots of days spent at the park
- Watching the polar express together
- Petting the goats at the zoo.. always a favorite with Mr. Pants
- Playing at the Johnson's house and baking cookies
- Two of the BEST early Christmas presents! Registration for the PF changs Half marathon and an AMAZING all in one vacuum/shampoer/hard floor cleaner!! Happy Mama!
-some Fun at the Children's Museum
- THE FIRST POOP ON THE POTTY!!!! Completely on his own, no pressure or "training" quite yet.
SO proud!

Saw this last week and died laughing. I have a lot of friends that would love to have this, mainly to make fun of me ;)

You can imagine the boys' amazement when this landed RIGHT behind our house last week! HOT AIR BALLOON! CACTUS!! Only in Arizona.

Checking out the ducks, a little too close, after getting muddy at the park 

HI! I'm the cutest baby ever 

Oh wait.. still the cutest! 

Elfie trying to steal my Steve! 

I couldn't wait to clean the house. Pants thought it was optimus prime, so he was equally excited. 

Hi Daddy!! 

aviators and dog tags

First time dipping grilled cheese in Tomato soup! Except that he put goldfish in the soup and pretended they were in the hot tub or " hot water" as he calls it. 

Cousins and breakfast with Santa

Mr. Pants and " me-maw"

Great Grandma and Papa Olson with mr. Kaners

Their Grandkiddos- typical Mr. Pants. 

Love them 

Always fun at the Johnson's! 

In all honesty, it's pretty tough to get in the Christmas spirit without my husband here. We have spent the last few years on our own, as a family, beginning our own traditions and memories. That space is just so empty right now... a seriously HUGE space. But before I can even step foot into that pitty party , it's important to remember that everyone is facing their own struggles right now.

Time to suck it up, and get in the spirit.   Enjoy the holidays and all of the blessings we have been given this year, and look forward to all that is to come. Especially now that we know there WILL be a 2013.

A very MERRY week to everyone. Hug your loved ones a little extra for all of us that can't!

Week 15

Wow. What a rough week this has been. Luckily the sunshine is beginning to poke it's little head through the storm clouds.

We had a terrible TERRIBLE couple days with Mr. Pants. When he finally realized Daddy was gone again , he lost it. Big time. We went days with very little sleep, violent temper tantrums, and LOTS and LOTS of coffee. It doesn't matter how well you were coasting without your loved one before, or even how great of a time you spent with them while they were home. The second they leave again everything starts right back at square one. The sadness, the loneliness, the misbehavior, the tantrums... for ALL of us! I hate to jinx anything but I think we have made it through the adjustment time. We are back to a normal sleep schedule THANK the lord. ALSO thankful that Kane had no idea what was going on, and just kept sleeping and smiling... LIKE usual ;)  I am finally able to conquer my mile long to-do list . Even actually run and/or watch maybe 30 full minutes of tv for a change.

We did manage to squeeze in SOME good moments last week. Coffee with my favorite Army Wife while the boys played, gorgeous morning walks, and cracking Mr. Pants up with his Elf on the Shelf "Elfie." Very unoriginal I know but his first choice was " Two years old" and that name was just too much of a mouthful. But she is a girl , I mean we have enough boys around here as it is. At least the Elf can be on my side.

Today being the start of week 16- a new journey is ahead of our soldier. A new place to call home for 9 more months. A place that has been calling his name for nearly 7 long years.

 I'm so proud of him and all of his accomplishments. I can't help but jump back to those steps outside of the Flagstaff house he was living in during college the summer of 2005. After a few months of dating,  falling head over-heels for him regardless of his silly hair, geeky nature, and terrifying music choice. He told me he was dropping out of school to enlist in the Army. That he wanted to be a pilot and serve our country, he had already talked to a recruiter. He would go to basic in the fall and that he didn't want any strings to " hold him back. " I remember sobbing for days, months even, not understanding why. I told him I would write him , we could make it work. He stood his ground telling me that he would soon go to war and he didn't want to get in too deep when he didn't know the outcome. He just wanted to go. Alone. THat he did. We both moved on, went our separate ways. He ended up getting pushed into another area of Army aviation instead of completing the infamous " flight packet." I finished college, kept cheering for the Lumberjacks , and enjoyed every moment of the college experience that NAU had to offer.

Fast forward 7 years. Here we are. He is off doing what he thought he was going to do " alone"  no strings attached many years ago. Instead he has a wife of 3.5 years and two little boys to video chat with each night. I personally wouldn't have it any other way.

I am so blessed and lucky to be married to a true hero. He's not just a soldier that is serving because it is a "job" or because he wants to fly helicopters. He is a soldier because he loves our country, and he believes in what our flag stands for. He is honored to be fighting for our freedom as Americans, not just trying to survive a minimum commitment and make a run for it. This is his life, our life as a family.

Even though I am a little uneasy tonight, I feel very at peace knowing what is to come. That sounds so silly I know. What is peaceful about war? I guess I just know that my husband is exactly where he has wanted to be since that day on the steps when he broke up with 19-year old me. God really has put him in the right place at the right time, and for that I am forever grateful.

It is all in HIS hands now. Hands which I trust and have complete faith in.

Godspeed and safe Travels Babe, LAAA youu

100 days

We've done it! We've reached the hundred day mark in our first deployment ... Only 252 days to go !

The series we just finished up at church was about forgotten virtues. Today our pastor spoke about integrity and not pretending to be something that we aren't, how ultimately the truth sets us free. So here is some truth without the sugar coating.

I didn't keep track of the last two weeks, and to be quite honest I'm not going to. We had a busy week preparing for thanksgiving , and then an absolutely amazing week together as a family . I like to keep track of the weeks here so that my brain doesn't have to, but spending that one week together is something that will always remain a clear and perfect memory.

So this is tough. Saying goodbye for a second time . The first time was more like 'ok see you in a few months no big deal.' But this right now is the real deal. We said goodbye on Wednesday knowing that the next time we touch will be August at the earliest .AUGuST??!! Yikes. Typing that brought that nauseating lump to my throat .

Anyone that knows two year olds knows that from2-3 is a serious intellectual growth spurt. In the past three months mr. Pants has grown up more than I even realized. He now completely understands what is going on. We talk at night about bad guys, and Apache's ( sometimes even chinooks) , Daddy's gone bye bye , and even listing Daddy's friends that are working in 'afi-Stan ' too . Last night he told me that he's scared. What a helpless feeling to know that your two year old is scared about something so completely out of your control. And even more disconcerting that all you want to say is... Me too baby, me too. But you can't because it's your job to be strong .sigh.

I'm really not trying to throw a pitty party. I know we will move forward, and the next 9 months will be over before we know it .

We all always debate who has it harder , the spouse or the soldier. I think we have it all wrong. The one that gets hit the hardest IS the military child. As spouses we know what we are getting into, but our kids are born into this life . God created them to be strong and flexible children, but at the end of the day they have more stress than we realize . The thoughts they have , the fears, the sad days are much stronger than we see. No matter the age.



I CAN say YAY for 100 days.

YAY for great family that is keeping me too busy to even think straight most days

And YAY for awesome Army wives whose support and love makes all the difference in the world.


As always, thanks for reading friends, have a wonderful week.

 Roll tide? I don't know. That's the only closing phrase that came to mind. I was in Alabama for too long...