Refrigerator Calendar

As anyone who has been to my home knows , I am obsessive about my refrigerator calendar. When I paused my short lived career teaching, moved with my husband to pursue his dreams in aviation, drove from Southern Arizona to Southern Alabama, and was about to have our first kid... things began to all blur together. I was very used to my life being planned in my head or in my lesson plan book, no one else depended on me. Even though we had been married for a year at this point, we had our own careers and lives really besides every few weekends not taken up by drill ( 1 weekend a month Army National Guard Duty.)

I remember the day I bought this calendar very clear, as silly as it is. Shortly after arriving in Alabama Steve left for 6 weeks at WOC school meaning no communication, I was 7 months pregnant, and living happily just me and the beagles. Free time was something I had NEVER in my life had so I really enjoyed the freedom of that summer. Just me, my belly, and my beagles in the beautiful south enjoying life. ANYWAYS... enough of the daydreaming of peacefulness.. There I was moseying around Ft. Rucker when I realized I needed to begin keeping track of what events where coming up correlating with Warrant Officer graduation. Wandering through the PX I found a great dry erase calendar that I could fill in monthly to keep track of what is ahead. PERFECT!

The first month filled out was August 2010, a month filled with receptions, graduation, family visits, beach trips, and of course the due date of our first little guy. I remember looking at it filled in thinking HOLY COW how is it possible that so many life changing events could happen in one month? JUST ONE month in our lives.

Quickly it became a great tool for keeping track of the ever so busy days of flight school. Steve could put in his training information, I could put in what days I was running what distances, doctors appointments were documented, get togethers with our new " Rucker Family", day trips , and so much more. I learned to live life one month at a time. Many experienced military members will tell you to live life day to day which is helpful when things can literally change each day, but for an over planner like myself month-to-month is as good as it gets.

Fast forward to August 2012, the month ahead. The Calendar is no longer on our outdated white top/bottom refrigerator but has a new home on a more sleek black side by side version in Arizona. With the move and the end of flight school, the events have most definitely changed. Many more sad faces, more mileage for myself to keep my mind occupied, more time away, and less events together as a family of 4. Filling in this month was something I have been mentally preparing for for years, but last night it became all too real.

The Army  has my husband for the first 17 days of next month . The following two days after that will be filled with our sons' 2nd birthday party, send off party, little brother starting school at ASU, Family in town, and a yellow ribbon send off as we all say goodbye to our soldiers. One day that following week we say goodbye, who knows which day since it IS the Army after all right?  Besides all of this, our perfect angel baby becomes 6 months. 6 MONTHS??? In my head he will always be a newborn, 6 months means he is halfway to a year... that can not be right. The last week of the month will be my furthest distance ever ran as I continue my marathon training. 13.1 miles is my sweet spot, it is achievable yet exhilarating all at the same time. Going beyond that finally seems in reach, but this month I am FINALLY going to do it. un-belieaveable.

All of this realization makes for yet another eventful August. Are we ready for it? Probably not. Will we make it through? of course.

As much as I want to look beyond to September and make some awesome plans for the boys and I , I think I will hold steady in August. I have no idea what life is going to be like for the next 12 months, but I know that even writing this leaves my heart aching.

I know we sign up for this. When we started dating for the second time (we'll save that story for another post ) I knew what we had in store. We probably should have faced multiple deployments being 6.5 years into his Army career, but we haven't. That is not how life has played out. Could it have been easier if he had left as a controller instead? Maybe if I was just his girlfriend? Or maybe if he had left two years ago where I could have simply wrapped myself up into my classroom and pummeled through? Who knows. But I do know that where we are now, Steve flying and myself staying behind raising our two amazing boys, is right where we are supposed to be. I am left with two remarkable pieces of him to keep me company while he gets to fly the most advanced helicopter everyday and " fight the bad guys." God has his cards laid out for us. We really aren't given anything we can not handle, and THIS we can handle.

Not sure how a few words about a calendar could end up into a novel such as this, but I guess you leave me to " talking" and this is what you will get. If you've stuck through this and are still reading THANK YOU FOR LISTENING... seriously today I think I need it.

Here is to August, a month that is bound to be full of laughter, tears, miles, and fears. Ready to live through each day on that Calendar, and soak up every day that we are given!

Have a great Monday friends!