"I love you, I'm ok. "

For days I've been writing this post in my head. As soon as I get a second to sit and write it all out it turns to mush.. or tears... or anger. SO Forgive me if things come out a little harsh, emotional, or whatever. Sometimes you just have to write.

It has almost been 10 months since my husband, my sons' father,  has lived in our home for more than a week. 10 months! June of last year he started pre-deployment training 2 hours away from us. And no it isn't close to being over, we still have at least 5 long months to go. Our 2 year old asks me every single day when his Dad is coming home. I made the mistake of telling him that right after his Birthday Daddy will be home... now every day he asks for his birthday. He thinks that once he gets a cupcake and blows out his candles Daddy will magically appear. HUGE mistake on my part. Especially when we really have no idea when he will return.

Don't let anyone fool you, it is a TOUGH tough life to live. The strongest people I have ever met in my life are the soldiers my husband is honored to work next to, and most importantly their families. Every single Military wife I have met ( somehow I seem to have avoided the not so great ones) has influenced me, held me together when I wanted to crumble, and most importantly influenced me to be a better STRONGER person. They are all women that I never would have crossed paths with in my life had the Army not brought us together, but I thank God everyday that it did. Especially through this deployment. From the closest friends that know every ounce of my life, to the ones I merely get to keep up with via Facebook posts and pictures- everyone has influenced me in some way. And for all of them I am grateful.

The past week has been a rough week for Army Aviation. A majority of civilians have no idea that there were two helicopter crashes from the same unit in a 5 day span. 6 killed 1 injured. You know why You may have not heard about it?  The news is busy covering BS like Justin Beiber's shenanigans, the latest youtube viral video,and how much everyone hates our president ( I don't know what the news covers actually, not only do I not have time but watching the frivolousness that our country reports while knowing what is going on behind the scenes in our war zones is infuriating ). Your FB friends probably never "shared" anything about it because they were busy posting their awesome pictures of how wasted they got on St. Patricks day or complaining about how much they HATE going to work on Monday.

Fortunately and unfortunately for us Army wives, we don't have to watch the news to find out. We get the text from our deployed husband that just says...

Our internet is being shut off. I love you and I'm ok.Watch for the news. 

Your stomach ties in knots yet you want to feel relieved. Relieved that it's not YOUR soldier but sickness knowing it is someone elses' . Is it your best friend whose husband flies that aircraft and is in that unit? Is it the husband of that girl you met a few times during flight school but still keep in touch with via Facebook? It IS someone's pilot, it IS someone's crew chief. It is SOMEONE'S son/daughter, husband/wife, FATHER/MOTHER. Maybe you don't know them, but they are still one of your own. And all you can do is search the internet, text your friends, wait, and pray. Pray pray pray... sometimes with this life it is all that we can do.

The hardest part is seeing the pictures of these heroes. You look at them in their uniform and you picture your husband in that same uniform. You picture every service member you know. It could be anyone. And has hard of a pill as it is to swallow- in time it just may be anyone.

And we think that WE have it hard over here without them? Imagine what our soldiers are going through over THERE. We can't, no one can understand unless they've stood in their boots . All we can do is be grateful for what they do every single day to protect US over here.

Do what you can to show that you appreciate them- send a little care package ( it only costs 13$ flat rate) reach out to the families, offer an ear to listen when they need it, and most importantly DON'T take your freedom for granted... someone is working really hard to earn that just for you.

Chief Warrant Officer James E. Groves III, 37,

Moving forward

After months of Doctor's appointments, dietary changes, and long sleepless nights- we finally have SOME results on our little Mr. Pants.

The GOOD news is that he does not have any damage to his intestines and does NOT have celiacs disease- WOO HOO! As much as we have learned and adapted to a great way of eating, we do not have to be as strict as we have been the past couple months.  The bad news is that he has severe acid reflux due to a food allergy ( go figure) and will be on Prilosec for the next year at least to help the damage that it has caused his esophagus . He will also be getting an allergy panel done ( like I had begged for months ago) to find out what food is the culprit.

The miracle came when we re-intruduced wheat. He doesn't get sick anymore! 2 weeks eating completely freely and there are no digestive problems at all. Only one thing has changed- he has self electively stopped drinking all milk. This kid won't even take a sip of CHOCOLATE milk! And this slowly happened as we removed Gluten  SOOO I am pretty sure what the allergy panel will tell us.

It is such a relief to have answers and know everything is now being done to keep our little guy as healthy and happy as possible - milk free ( which I have happily been since age 2 as well) 

Not only are we moving forward in the health department, we are finally making progress in physically MOVING forward as well this week. We have officially been pre-approved and have begun the process to buying our first home in TUCSON and will hopefully be down there and moved in this summer before August if all goes as planned! It will definitely be crazy buying a house and moving our life+2 toddlers+2 beagles ...alone...but across the state is NOTHING like our last two moves across the country. So this is welcomed Chaos and will be well worth it when my husband comes home in August to OUR home.

As always, thank you all for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers- VERY much appreciated <3 

Weeks 24-25

It is pretty amazing how much can change in two little weeks. Two weeks in the spectrum of a year long deployment is the about the equivalent of 1 mile of a full marathon. 1 little mile out of 26.2 is nothing , but if that mile is straight up hill it can really kick your ass. We seem to have just reached the end of a LONG 4 mile gradual incline , an incline that at times made me want to give up and go home. But just like in long-distance running, a long deployment is going to have many ups and downs along the course. The past 'mile' so to say has been nice and steady- full of rainbows and sunshines.

There are no more sleep anxieties going on in our home- for a solid 17 days now! Mr. Kane is getting to be such a big guy the past few weeks, it makes me sad. He is starting to do the little kickstand crawl showing that he WANTS to walk, which is a lot more than his brother could say at his age. The craziness that comes with having kids 1.5 years apart is finally starting to pay off. I LOVE being able to watch the two of them play together , tackle each other, and the most beautiful noise in the world is them laughing hysterically at each other. They are such perfect brothers. 

Besides having him gone obviously, I feel like life is just falling into place. We have a great rhythm going. Things are busy enough to keep us occupied yet calm enough to enjoy our moments together. On top of all of that, the light at the end is getting brighter each day. August is so close I can almost feel it. We only have a few more months left on our lease here in Phoenix which means it is FINALLY time to really start looking for houses down south. The boys and I really have enjoyed spending this time here in the Valley of the Sun more than I thought , but Tucson feels more like home than anywhere else. We had our first house together there,  spent our first year of marriage there, basically started our ' grown up' life down there... it really became home to us. I'm definitely excited/anxious to find our  new home there, get settled in, and have our family whole.

So... two more weeks down! Here's what we've been up to-

Typical wrestling matches on Mom's bed before bedtime...

Steven made this beautiful artwork with his great Aunt Vickie who is a wonderful artist and Art teacher in Alaska. Apparently he was shy about his artwork.. or the sun was just too bright ;) 

Snow on Daisy Mountain

Play at the park with memaw

Pizza and Movies in the living room- our typical Friday night

Playing at the park with the Coey. Wish I had a picture of Steven pulling the big boys in the wagon... the 2 year old pulled the 4 and 6 year old. Daddy would have been proud ! 

Eating breakfast and watching cartoons with Daddy =D

We have been taking advantage of this gorgeous weather and running outside pretty much daily, can't get much cuter cargo than this

Steven before his little surgery Thursday. He really was such a trooper. A day of a liquid diet followed by a morning without food or drink is tough for a 2 year old, but he did great. We were able to facetime with Daddy right before we went in. He took the anesthesia fine and recovered afterwards with no problems. Next week we meet with his doctor to find out what is going on in that tummy of his ... YAY ! FINALLY!! 

Mr. Pants with his superheroes- Spiderman, Ironman, and Daddy! 

The boys got to meet baby Addison- you can't get more beautiful than this little girl! Which should be no surprise to anyone that knows her parents :)

Playing out on the Eastside At Grandma and Grandpa's house...

Stevenson III  vs  Stevenson I

Mr. Kaners LOVED his gluten free oreo from the package Grandma Fran sent us ! 

So I'm starting to feel really dry and boring with these updates. I like to keep everyone posted but I may switch to monthly family updates instead. It's crazy how fast time flies by, I never believed anyone who said that it would. But it does... and thank goodness for that. 

Happy March everyone! Looking forward to what the new month has in store :)